In The Name Of Love by Sumona Chetia

She has been in a relationship with that person for the last four years hence it’s very natural for her to let him thrash her once in a while. “My fault,” she says every time I question her about the bruises.

I found her lying on the hospital bed with a complaint of fatigue. The other day she was on a fast for the wellbeing of her boyfriend. Well, this was the same boyfriend who was caught cheating on her a month ago. However, that didn’t stop her from keeping a Karwa Chauth fast for that person.

Her natural brown tresses were a sight to behold. She took utmost care to let them grow and flow. But on the day he asked her to move on she chopped off her mane. She hoped to win him back with this sheer mindless act.

In a span of a year, I witnessed these three different women undergoing three different instances “IN THE NAME OF LOVE”.

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Is love so manipulative that it can force a woman to change her identity?

Is love so forgiving that it can make a woman forget the terrible times and embrace her tormentor with open arms once again?

Is love so sly that it lets a woman believe abusive love as tough love?

From time immemorial, women are expected and accepted to be submissive while being in a relationship. “You won’t get anyone better than him!” “Cling onto him before he slips out of your reach!” The most popular catchphrase is “I cannot live without him!” In contrast to this, a woman will gladly prefer to lose her life at the hands of her lover. Such an irony!

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I am no one to judge other people’s relationships but being a woman my heart goes out for the women who are so crazily in love with men who don’t feel the same for them. They resort to desperate means to sustain their failing affinity. They put a hold onto their lives to get a hold on their men. They fail to distinguish between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship. In extreme cases, they even let go of their own existence for the sake of their men. And that’s how a woman never recovers from a broken heart.

Why is it so difficult for a woman to take a step back to understand her worth? Why does she let a man take charge of the reigns of her life?

A woman is born to be the heroine of her life. She is divine. She is wonderful. A good man complements this wonderful woman by supporting and uplifting her throughout all the phases of life. He will never raise a finger on his woman. He will not rob her of her identity and dignity. He will make a real effort to make the love grow and last longer.  A relationship can never be good if a man entertains a “boss and employer” kind of relationship. While making decisions, the opinions of a woman should matter and taken into full consideration.

If any of the above qualities are not even remotely associated with your relationship then you (woman) should leave. You shouldn’t change yourself for a man who is not willing to respect you for being you. Love him to the extent your heart and mind can. You need not cross your limits and in turn, hurt yourself. One sided sacrifice is not always love (except it’s the love of mother for her child). The true love of your life must be somewhere out there waiting for you to break free from the shackles of your fake love bondage.

“DO NOT LOOK FOR HEALING AT THE FEET OF THOSE WHO BROKE YOU!”- Rupi Kaur

2 comments

  1. Wow, this article says a lot about the condition of women in love and the title is so apt. Kudos to the writer, wonderfully written ! You have mentioned what to do in the end but I would like to know more. You’ve got the potential; help these women to get out of abusive or bad relationships by guiding them what to do and what not, what to compromise on and what not to sacrifice because it is much needed !

    Liked by 2 people

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