Stop Labeling Women, Stop Begging For Dowry – Teach Your Sons Better

From marriage to motherhood, from workplaces to homes – women are treated  wrong. This needs to stop. The “ladkiyon ko sunna padta hai” tradition has to die.

Ours is a complex society. We tend to have opinions about everything. Now, it is not bad to be opinionated on subjects that matter to you, topics that you are well-informed of. However, how great is it to have opinions and impose them on others’ personal lives? Why is it compulsory for women in India to get married at a certain age and why are women reminded 24*7 about how their biological clock is ticking and they must have kids. Isn’t getting married a personal decision? Isn’t deciding to whether or not have a baby and when to have it, a couple’s extremely private matter?

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We brag about sharm, haya and sanskaar. We talk about respect and high principles. Where does all that vanish when it comes to respecting the space of a woman? Why aren’t men nudged and poked round-the-clock about these so-called societal rules? I have seen a number of examples in and around my life where men and women are treated so differently when it comes to societal pressure in the context of marriage and motherhood. I have heard about numerous cases where women have been called names if they are unable to procreate but how many of us have heard of such names for men? A woman at 28, is considered to be getting old for marriage while men who are in their thirties are still the laadla bachaas.

Our society needs to learn to respect women. The basic reason of all the challenges that women are facing in this society today – be it crime against woman, gender disparity, wage inequality, domestic violence, abuse etc- is that women are not respected enough. A girl who talks is called one who rants, a girl who speaks up is labelled as too modern and forward! Growing up, when I witnessed the #FeministRevolution rise, I felt hopeful. But sadly, even feminism has managed to earn a negative light. Any powerful word as soon as it gets associated with women, somehow becomes negative – an ambitious woman is a bitch, a vocal woman is a big mouth, an independent woman is not “marriage material”, and so on. 

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Another pathetic system that somehow still continues to survive in the so-called ultramodern 21st century, is the idea of “ladkewale” are superior. I simply hate the idea where the groom side assumes that they are superior in some manner just because they are the ones with a son. Any family that expects material gain in exchange for their son, should be ashamed of themselves. On one hand, people with sons think that they are superior and on the other, they spread their hands like beggars in front of the family that is giving away their daughter forever! How hypocritical is that! 

I feel that all this boils down to the parents. You birth a son and then you bring him up in the most twisted way possible. He grows up thinking that he has already achieved something in life and that he can impose superiority upon others just because he is a man. Irrespective of educational qualifications, character traits and life qualities in general, men feel that they are some sort of heroes! We need to stop this nonsense. We need to teach our sons better. When educated families indulge in name calling, dowry, female infanticide  and domestic abuse (both physical and mental), the fact that the uneducated class indulges in heinous animistic crimes, should not be a matter of surprise!

 

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We are living in a country where toddlers and goats are being raped and killed. If we still do not accept that we are on an extremely dangerous path, there won’t be a society to live in at all. Wake up India! For once, teach your sons to respect women, respect life. Stop asking your daughters to cover up and not speak loudly and not eat and not work and not exist! It is now or never…

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