I used to feel sad and emotional about goodbyes. Going from my In-Laws’ to my Mom’s, from my Husband’s to my Father’s or from my Brother’s to my Grandparents’ – every single goodbye is equally painful. Oxymoronically, it comes wrapped with a teeny tiny joy of seeing the next person, being in the next home while leaving some loved ones behind. As I sit in the car and peep through the back glass waving goodbye to a family member – be it my husband, mother, father, in-laws, bhaiya bhabhi or grandparents – each time I feel a million emotions. I feel nostalgic about the last time when I said “See You”, I feel sad that they are shedding tears as I leave, I feel scared thinking about when will I see them next and somehow between all this, I also anticipate the journey that I am about to embark upon to meet the next loved one.
The ideas of family and home become extremely vague for us women. When we are with one family, we miss the other. I guess, God has made us exceptionally strong to be able to endure the uncertainty and find home in wherever we are. We give love and seek affection in the people we are with at the moment.
So now, goodbyes seem extremely traditional and normal. I have become accustomed to it. I know that they will be waiting for me the next time I come back. They will all love me, if possible, even more. So, it is ok to leave. It is ok to hug and say take care until next time. It is ok to go away to be able to come back.
Marriage makes a woman out of a naive girl. It gives you an unseen strength to be able to keep your tears inside hoping that if you don’t shed one, your mom-in-law won’t feel that sad. It gives you the capacity to look your mom in the eye and plead her to stop crying without letting your emotions out.
So, Dear Bihar (Land of Mayka and Sasural) – it is goodbye for now, until next time…