When I look at the work I do, I can say I really like it. Some days are hard, like a struggle to get out of bed or the pain in my body because of the chaos in my mind. I guess the ones who go through a lot don’t want others to go through the same things.
However, what I want to talk about is the importance of self-care. I’ve always used work as a distraction from everything and everyone – and I think it’s kind of our millennial thing. We all do it. It takes the stress and tiredness away for a while, but all that’s actually happening is that all of the worry and stress is getting piled up one distraction after another. It’s necessary to understand that we can never fully recover until we come face to face with what we’re feeling. Dealing with our emotions doesn’t mean that we need to keep them in a box and lock them away. It’s about feeling them one at a time and letting them pass.
My best friend told me to feel my feelings, to not keep them in an unreachable spot. It’s the hardest thing I’ve had to do, but I’m glad I listened to him, I’m glad that he made me do it by being on the phone with me at night – sorting out and making me feel one ugly feeling at a time. And this is how you do it – you take care of yourself, for one. But if that becomes hard, you find your support and you lean on for a bit. It’s okay to do that, it’s okay to ask for help.
However, what’s above all of that is to find your thing, to find what helps you cope. Sometimes we fall into unhealthy and toxic habits because we think that they could help us cope – but it causes more destruction. Every day, we need to find that space to just be, to just rest – not just physically, but also mentally. It’s hard, but we have to do it.
In the end, nobody can take care of you the way you could. Nobody can be there for you the way you could be. But while nobody can ever know you better than yourself, we need to understand that sometimes it’s okay to lean on and get the support and be that support.
So take some time – even if it’s just 30 minutes a day, but do something. Do something that makes you happy, that makes you forget about everything that’s pulling you down. Many of us feel like we’re being pulled into a black hole, but with help from ourselves and our loved ones, we’ll be okay. And in the end, that is what matters.